Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Victor Harbor Voyage

Unwilling to let the Mclaren Vale Sea & Vine Festival debacle crush my spirit, I was determined to get out of the house and have a good time during my break. To that end I suggested to my classmate Di that we find some way to spend a few days out of the Adelaide greater city limits. Di quickly proposed that we take an over night to Victor Harbor. My bag was packed before the words were out of her mouth. We met at the Adelaide Central Rail Station (and Casino), I hopped in her car, and we were off. Our route took us straight through the now deserted but unsurprisingly littered streets of Mclaren Vale, and I recounted my experience at the festival. We determined that Victor Harbor would make up for it all. When we arrived at Victor Harbor, we found a sleepy little seaside town easing its way into the winter season. Our first order of business was lunch. After popping in and out of a few mom and pops and discovering that they were either, a) closed, b) completely devoid of customers, or c) lacking the requisite liquor license, we asked a shop keeper where we could go for good fish & chips. “Yeah” she started, “I guess you could go just there. That should be alright.” Fortunately my friend Di speaks Australian. We arrived at Anchorage Hotel & Restaurant and made our way to a dining room complete with roaring fire place and ship-shaped bar.




Fish & chips ordered, our conversation turned to finding a place to stay for the night. We had brochures for such places as the Comfort Inn and Victor Harbor Motel, but I suggested that since we were there anyway, why not ask about the rates at the Anchorage. At the front desk, the receptionist informed me that they had three types of rooms available at three different rates, and offered me keys so I could inspect the rooms. Room #1: I didn’t even make it all the way in. It only took opening the door halfway to know that we weren’t sleeping there. Room #2: Fine for me, and mostly likely fine for you, but Di is in a stage of life where one appreciates the finer things. Room #3: Divine. Huge bay windows displaying an ocean view, four-poster queen size bed, and the best feature of all: the spa tub from which you could enjoy not only the ocean view but also the tv. Out of my price range, but hey, Di would enjoy it. I returned to the restaurant to find Di picking at was undoubtedly the worst fish and chips I’ve ever seen in my life. As she lamented her lunch, I mentioned that she might want to take a look at Room #3. She did, and loved it. Lunch not worth eating, I went back to the receptionists desk, where I was immediately offered a substantial discount off the previously mentioned rate. “How many spa rooms do you have available?” I inquired. They had two. “What if we take them both?” I pressed. Taking them both put the cost of the room smack dab in the middle of my budget.

After unpacking we took a walk around “famed” Granite Island, known for its horse drawn carriages (we walked), whale watching (out of season), and penguins (there were none).




Back on the mainland, we spent a few minutes browsing in the town’s kitsch shops, and as they closed down realized that we’d done all there was to do. It was 4 o’clock. “Well…” Di ventured, “we’ve both got to be starving, let’s say we take an hour to freshen up in the rooms, then have an early dinner.” Five o’clock rolled around and we began the search for food. Steak house, closed. Seafood restaurant, closed. Multiple Asian countries food, closed. At last we found the Grosvenor Junction Hotel, Bar, and Pokies Room. We entered, and spotted a small buffet of vegetables steaming away in the corner. “I guess this is it.” Di muttered. And we placed our orders at the bar. As we ate (Butter Chicken and Veal Schnitzel with unlimited Vegetables), we commented on the people sitting in the pokie room. “I don’t know how people do that.” Di said. I explained to her my own gambling habit and that, while I truly enjoy a good game of poker, electronic or otherwise, pokies (aka ‘slot machines’) had never been and would never be my thing. Dinner over, we couldn’t help but notice two things: 1) the restaurant now had a line of old people extending out the door, and 2) It was 6:30. “Well” said Di, “What should we do now?” I shrugged. There was nothing to do. “Then I guess we’re going to play the pokies!” As we finally left for the hotel ten minutes later (hey, penny pokies just ain’t what they used to be) we realized that we now knew why people do that. They’re bored.

Back at the hotel, we said goodnight, and as I sank back into the spa, it occurred to me that I knew what this tub-with-a-view-of-the-tv was perfect for: porn. Sighing, I turned on the Simpsons instead.
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