July 21, 2006

Babe in Toymatoland

After 24 hours in Delaware, it was time to head off for the main event of the trip: my mother’s birthday week in Cape May, New Jersey. Every July, my mother rents a Cape May Victorian large enough to house the entire family. We spend the week playing on the beach; going for leisurely strolls around town, and of course, eating. Sister Megan (now quite visibly 11 months pregnant)and I hopped into the minivan with the rest of the family and we were off.

Now I’m not normally one to extol the virtues of New Jersey, and I get plenty of beaching, strolling, and eating well right at home in Hawaii, but Jersey does have one thing Hawaii does not: Big, Bold, Beautiful Hothouse Tomatoes. I’m not talking the kind of tomato you throw in a bowl of iceberg and put ranch dressing on. I’m talking the kind of tomato that takes the stage, gets the standing ovation and wins the Tony. I’m talking about the kind of tomato that makes you see god. On our way into town we stopped at a roadside produce stand and I loaded up. The plan was to eat a tomato a day, and how hard could that be?

My plan was a complete success. Each day for lunch, I made myself the most incredible tomato sandwich known to mankind. You’d think I’d have gotten tired of them after two or three days, but no. They were so good that I ate them five days in a row and on the sixth day I wanted more. Seven days of a Hothouse Tomato Sandwiches. It was so easy. The only hard part was keeping everyone else’s grimy mitts off my tomatoes.

The Most Incredible Tomato Sandwich Known To Mankind

2 slices Multi-grain Bread, toasted
As much or little mayonnaise as you want, and because I am still thoroughly entrenched in my bossy streak I command you not to use Miracle Whip.
Small bunch peppery green, like arugula
1 slice Creamy Havarti Cheese
The thickest slices of ripe New Jersey Hothouse Tomatoes you can get your mouth around, and if you really want this sandwich you will figure out a way to get your mouth around the whole damn tomato
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste.

I will not insult you by assuming that you don’t know how to assemble a sandwich.