And I Can Cook, Too

Sunday, August 19, 2007

August 3, 2007

Top Ten Reasons Not To Eat At The Inn At St. Peters Village

10. You will be seated at 7:30 and enjoy listening to the waiter talk to the table next door about their daughter’s soccer teams until you are finally allowed to place a drink order at 7:25.

9. After taking your dinner order but before giving it to the kitchen you will then spend ten more minutes listening to same waiter talk to a different table next door about the weather and whether or not it is going to rain.

8. The amuse bouche will taste overwhelmingly of unflavored gelatin, a phenomenon previously believed to be impossible.

7. You will be asked if you are ready to order wine 20 minutes after you’ve already ordered it.

6. The wine will finally make its way to the table, but it will take five more minutes to find a glass to put it in.

5. Your father’s beer will never come.

4. At 9:30, when you ask the waiter where your dinner is, he will tell you that if he asks about your meals again the chef will throw food at him.
3. When you ask to speak to the manager you will be told that he is busy and will be with you shortly, forcing you to say the word “now.”

2. When your food finally arrives at 10:00, it will be colorless, cold, and flavorless.

1. When the smarmy in absolutely stupid looking “I’m fabulous gay man and what are you going to do about it” glasses food throwing chef approaches your table, he will start the conversation by positively cooing “…and how is table 34 doing tonight?” He will then explain that you waited 2-1/2 hours for your food because his assistant made it wrong and he himself had to re-make it to make sure it was perfect for you. When you tell him that were a chef and it sounded to you like he was passing the buck, he will haughtily ask you why it is you are a chef no more. When you explain that it is because you are at Le Cordon Bleu, he will assume an offended tone, tell you that he is taking full responsibility for the error and what more do you want him to do, and hightail it back into the kitchen.

The Only Reason In The Whole Wide World To Eat At The Inn At St. Peter’s Village

1. There’s rockin good chance it’s gonna be free..

3 Comments:

  • At 8:18 PM, Blogger Kim Binsted said…

    So, was it free?? And did you really get your drinks five minutes before you ordered them? That's service!

     
  • At 10:32 PM, Blogger Kristin Van Bodegraven said…

    It was totally free. And not worth it at that price. And learn to read Kim. We didn't GET our drinks five minutes before ordered them; we ORDERED them five minutes before we arrived. We were thinking ahead, as usual, but the crappy waiter managed to screw even that no brainer up.

     
  • At 9:54 AM, Blogger Walter said…

    LOL... I'll be sure to skip that place.

     

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